You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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