Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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