Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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