By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
