Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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