On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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