All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
