I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
