I'm so fucking centered right now
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
