just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
