She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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