I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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