uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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