Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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