eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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