that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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