I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
