Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
whose ass print is on the piano?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
