I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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