The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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