So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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