This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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