I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
