I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pants are for mortals
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
