Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
