Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
A bitchslap is in order.
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