Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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