Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
