drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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