You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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