he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize