He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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