is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
