i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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