I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
