Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
