i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
