normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
