Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
that may or may not have been my penis.
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