he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
