You smell like stripper and shame
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize