wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
