uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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