i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
