Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
