I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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