Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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