we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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