so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
