Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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