you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
