No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
