Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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