We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
