are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
