There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
