John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
