I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
