ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize