At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
