you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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