I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
