I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We need a shit load of segways right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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