I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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