There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
