i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
