Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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