if you like me you must not know who I am
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I could fuck to npr.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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