He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
