did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
